Don't you dare say goodbye
by Bn77
Summary: Tonight none of them was assured to be alive tomorrow and, when the time came to head for battle, letting go of the people they cared about the most was harder than any of them would have thought. Especially for Felicity.


**Hi everyone! So this is an olicity fanfiction. It's not my first one but it's the first one I publish. It's a one-shot set after episode 02x20 (so watch out for spoilers) and it's pretty angst-y (I actually cried while writing it) but I like the result. Hope you will too! Tell me what you think :)**

**Summary :** Tonight none of them was assured to be alive tomorrow and, when the time came to head for battle, letting go of the people they cared about the most was harder than any of them would have thought. Especially for Felicity.

**A/N: before the story starts, I just wanted to say that I'm French. So yeah, there will be some mistakes and I'm really sorry about it. But, please, don't be too hard on me? :)**

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters :)**

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Don't you dare say goodbye.

* * *

Felicity had never felt oppressed in the Arrow cave. It was actually one of the few places she could go when she was feeling frustrated or upset. It was a place where she could sort things out and clear up her mind.

Yet, Felicity had never felt more unsecured in the basement than at this moment. And she hadn't forgotten the night when Slade had paid them a visit…

She was surrounded by murderers. Like _literally_ surrounded. The basement was crowded with people wearing fighting gear and preparing for the upcoming fight. Everywhere she laid her eyes, she could see guns, arrows, blades and bows, and focused faces for those who hadn't covered it up yet. Everything she could hear was the sounds of guns being refilled, swords and knives being sharpened, weapons being strapped on bodies. Everything she could feel was the tension between everybody and the weight lying on everyone shoulders: everybody knew that at the end of the night, the basement wouldn't be so crowded anymore.

Felicity couldn't believe they were sharing their shelter with so many strangers. _Really bad_ strangers on top of it. Murder was everyone's profession in here. Well, at least for 90% of them she guessed. This thought didn't help fighting back the shiver that ran down her spine.

"This is soooo messed up." She mumbled, hugging herself.

When Oliver had shared his intentions with Diggle and her, Felicity had immediately protested because they were _sooo_ not shaking hands and sharing their lair with people they were supposed to put down. This was not one of those video-games were you could do alliances with anybody just to be stabbed in the back as soon as their interests were fulfilled. This was real life. And in real life when you got stabbed in the back, there was no "try again". It was a simple "Game Over". They didn't have the luxury of second chances.

"Listen to me Felicity!" Oliver had shouted. He was on edge all the time and she couldn't blame him. She was already so proud he had been able to look past his guilt for his mother death and was actually trying to do something to fix everything instead of giving up and sinking into sorrow. "I know that this doesn't fit into any of your moral codes but if you can think of a better way to end this I'm listening!"

She didn't answer because deep down she knew he was right. Slade had crossed a line by killing Moira Queen in front of her children. She would never forgive him for that. There were no moral codes anymore when it came to taking him down.

"We can't let him win. I owe it to my mother." Oliver said, daring her to disagree with his eyes.

"The enemy of my enemy… Uh?" She whispered, not wanting to finish the famous sentence because there was no way these people would ever become her friends. Oliver sighted heavily to calm down a little.

"I'm not gonna say I'll be enjoying this. I'll hate it as much as you two will but I don't see another way. We can't wait for the antidote forever. We need another plan. There are 20 of them injected with mirakuru and as much as I want to have hope, even me, Diggle, Sara and Roy can't take them down on our own."

"He's right Felicity," Dig intervened. "We have to put an end to this. To Slade."

She bowed her head down. She didn't want to share this place with anybody else. The basement held so many memories, good and bad, and she didn't want it to be stained with strangers' presence. This was her refuge, her bunker. This was the one place she had learned the true meaning of words like loyalty, friendship and justice. And none of them applied to the people he wanted to bring here.

She knew they were waiting for her answer. They wouldn't do it without her agreement, even if they knew she would agree eventually. And she had sworn to herself that she would do anything in her power to end Slade. Once and for all. Felicity had raised her head toward Oliver, a determined look in the eyes.

"Let's take this motherfucker down."

After that, Felicity spent almost all her time searching for Slade on her computers. She barely left the basement anymore, only when Dig or Oliver walked on her sleeping on her keyboard. Then, they would force her to get to some sleep at her place.

A lot had happened during the following weeks after their decision to ask for help to bring Slade down. Good things and bad things.

Bad news first. The antidote wouldn't be ready for at least another month. And according to Oliver, in China the period of mourning was around 40 days which left only a few days before Slade would strike again. His final blow. So there was no hope of taking him down with an antidote. They would have to kill him.

Roy had slowly regained consciousness. He was still tied up to the medical table, but they had decreased the venom dose they injected him with, until he was able to be awake but still to weak to break free. And surprisingly, him being weak allowed him to be himself again sometimes. He often rumbled crazy things but Felicity had been able to talk to him several times when they were alone and he had his mind under control.

"Is… Is Thea ok?" Roy had asked her once, while she was fighting tiredness to stay focused on her screens. Hearing his voice had snapped her awake and she slowly turned to face him.

"Come on… I know… About her mother. You can talk to me. I'm too… weak to… lift even… my little finger."

She cleared her throat. The few times she had talked to him she had managed not to make him lose his temper. But what he was asking now, wasn't a safe subject.

"You're sure you wanna talk about this?" She asked him gently seating on the chair beside him. "I'm not in the mood to put any more viper venom in your system. Not that I was ever in the mood to do it. Well, maybe a little when you scared the hell out of…"

"Felicity." He cut her off. But his voice was gentle and when she looked up at his face she saw his eyes shimmering with tears. "I need to know. I need to know… so that I can… focus my rage… my pain…my guilt and… every… freaking emotion that's… that's threatening to explode inside me… I need to focus all of them… against him. So that I won't hurt anyone… I care about… anymore. Please."

Felicity's heart tightened. Roy had suffered so much and he was still so young. She felt a wave of protectiveness toward him and she put her hand inside his, no longer caring that he could crush her fingers in an instant.

"I'm so sorry about what's happening to you, Roy. I which I could… You don't deserve this. I know you don't believe me but I'm telling you, you're a good guy, with a big heart. You may have grown up in shitty conditions but you still care. You care about others and mirakuru or not that will never leave you." She smiled at him. "That's what Thea saw in you and I know she misses you. So much. She knows what happened isn't your fault. She's not mad at you, she loves you and she wants you back. She wants every part of you back. So don't you dare hate yourself. And don't you dare think that you don't deserve her love." She squeezed his hand locking her eyes with his, daring him to contradict her. "You are going to get through this. I promise you, Roy. You will come back to her."

He stared at her for a while, her words sinking into him. Then he nodded and closed his eyes shut, a single tear trickling down his face. He turned his face away, hiding his break down from her.

Felicity smiled to herself, she was glad that she was able to make him feel maybe a little better. She stood up but didn't release his hand yet.

"I don't know what happens inside your head when you… snap and lose control. But I think that… You should focus about how you would feel if you were able to be yourself again, to be in control. How happy that would make you feel and how happy the people who care about you would be that the Roy they knew has come back to himself." She squeezed his hand one last time and let go. "Think about it." And she headed toward her computer more determined than ever to find Slade.

During the following days, she couldn't help but notice that Roy was feeling better and better. He chatted with her, trying to cheer her up when all the leads she found were dead ends. But he only was like that when they were alone in the basement. He usually stayed silenced when Oliver was there, but really everyone one (except her because she couldn't help herself) avoided to chitchat when he was around.

Still Roy was feeling really good and, one day, she was sick of seeing him lying down while he was in perfect control of himself.

"Roy?" She was seating on her usual chair beside him, looking intently toward him."Can I trust you?"

It took him a moment to understand what she meant but even when he did he didn't know what to answer. Was he ready? She believed he was but she could be wrong.

"I feel better, but I'm not sure…"

"Roy. I asked you if I could trust you." She asked more firmly.

"Yeah sure." He said but he didn't seem convinced.

"How could you expect me to believe you if you don't believe it yourself Roy?" Her voice was louder, she knew she was provoking him but she had begun to understand how he functioned. This boy clearly lacked of self confidence but he would never turn his back on a challenge. "Can I trust you Roy?!" She asked even louder. She was daring him to say yes and take the responsibility for what happened next.

"Yes! Yes, Felicity! You can trust me. I'm won't let you down."

And it was the determination she found in his eyes that convinced her. His eyes were telling her that he wouldn't disappoint her, no matter what happened.

"Good. And for the record, I already knew that."

And that was the first time she had untied him. She would tie him back before Oliver and Diggle would come. She kept doing so every time she could. She stopped injecting him with snake venom without telling anyone, and he was still improving his behavior, until she thought that if he wasn't ready now, he would never be. So when he told her it was time for him to get tied back she said no.

"What do you mean no?"

"I mean no. No, I won't tie you back." She said cheerfully not looking at him. He was sitting beside her, helping her out like he used to, but at the moment she could feel his incredulous eyes on her.

"You really are looking forward to pick up a fight with Oliver, aren't you?"

"Well, I was hopping Dig would show up first so he could help me convince Oliver that as long as you stay down here there are no reason to be worried." She smiled up at him. And he shook his head at her.

"You really are something special Miss Smoak."

"Well, I'm going to take that as a compliment. So, thank you, M. Harper."

Her smile quickly disappeared when Oliver showed up. Roy had sat on his table to watch them fight. He really had to thank Felicity for that one because in only a few minutes she had totally managed to shut Oliver's mouth shut. Oliver had just glared up at him with a disapproving look on his face and headed toward the training part of the lair.  
A few days after, Felicity entered the basement to find Oliver giving Roy archery lessons. She could tell that Roy was getting pretty good at it when she spotted the arrows dead centered in the targets, and she couldn't be more proud and happy for him. When they saw her come in they both flashed a smile at her. Roy's was much bigger then Oliver's but both of their smiles reached their eyes and she almost wanted to cry from the sight.

There was still hope. She had it just in front of her.

Five days before the end of the period of mourning, she came in the lair to find Roy sleeping on the cot. However, her eyes were drawn toward a silhouette in the darkest place of the lair, sitting on the floor, against one pillar.

"Oliver?"

He didn't answer, but he slowly looked up at her. It was all it took to make her hurry beside him. His eyes told her that something bad had happened. She knelt beside him, waiting for him to explain.

"He's alive. All this time, he was alive."

She was confused. That didn't seem like a bad news… Well, that depends on who was he talking about.

"Oliver?" She repeated.

"Malcolm Merlyn. Tommy's father is alive."

Shocked. That was the most appropriate adjective. She was shocked.

"How? You said you killed him. Dig was there. He saw you."

"It doesn't matter. He is alive. He contacted me."

"What? Why?"

"He said he'd just found out about my mother. He said he wanted to join force with me to take down whoever did this."

She didn't say anything.

"Felicity, I don't know what to do. What should I do?"

He was lost. She knew he would hate himself if he agreed to work with Tommy's father, even if it was for greater good. So why was he even hesitating?

"Well, maybe we don't need him for the plan." She said softly, reaching for his forearm. "I mean, Roy seems to be ready to get back on the field. Diggle assured us that there were at least four of his soldier friends from Afghanistan who would be here in two days. Sara said her plane would land tomorrow and she had managed to bring 15 members of the ligue of assassins along with Nissa Al Gul. You're Russian friend already sent 10 of his best men and more are arriving by the end of the week. And Amanda Waller… She assured us the Suicide Squad was at our disposal if Slade should show up. So maybe… Maybe we can manage without him."

He was shaking his head.

"You don't understand. He cared about my mother. He's really mad and he wants to get revenge."

"Oh…" Was all she could say. This man was really a mystery to her.

"I can't keep him from getting the exact same thing that I'm looking for."

"You're not doing this for revenge. What we do is way more than just revenge."

Oliver sighed and took her hand in his. She watched as their fingers tangled together.

"I tried to convince myself that this was more than revenge for everyone he had hurt and everything he did to me but…" He glanced up at her, there was sadness all over his face but his eyes were burning with fire. He wanted pay back. "But deep down I know it's not true."

She understood. He had tried to play with rules and principals against him but Slade had crashed down every single one of them, leaving Oliver hollowed, even more broken than before and thirsty for his blood. Only Slade's blood would put Oliver to rest. Only Slade's blood would allow him to grieve properly. Felicity nodded. She really understood.

"Whatever your decision, Oliver, I'll always support you."

She leaned forward to plant a kiss in his hair and stood up. It's only when she was all the way up standing that, reluctantly, he released her hand. She smiled at him before turning around and heading toward her computers.

She had wanted to snuggle up beside him never letting go, to comfort him and make him smile and be with him in every way possible… But she knew that her feelings and her needs weren't important at the moment. They probably never will, so why even bother? Still, she could feel the ache inside her heart every time she saw him look desperate for help. She wished she could take away all his pain and bring him happiness. Maybe one day, when everything would be over, he might allow himself to feel something for her. Or maybe he really saw her just like his friend and nothing more. Either way, she was happy to be here for him at the moment, when he needed her the most. And she would cherish every moment they might have together. Because now more than ever, she knew that none of them was assured to be alive the next day.

So here they were. It was the forty first day following Moira Queen's death and after forty days of no activity, no sigh of him, no nothing, Slade had stroked again. She had often wondered what he would do, what would be his final blow.

Oliver told them that Laurel and Sara were the most endangered ones. Sara could handle herself and her assassin friends were always around her, ready to give their life to protect her. So it wasn't her who worried them the most. It was Laurel.

She had refused any protection from her father. She'd said she was sick to live in fear and to be constantly looking over her shoulder. It wasn't helping Oliver protect her but he had posted a lot of people around her apartment asking them to be as discrete as possible so she wouldn't notice. He also had asked Felicity to put cameras everywhere inside and outside Laurel's place and bugs in all of her clothes, jewelry, bags, car, and whatever else she could. She knew that despite all of these precautions, if Slade wanted to get Laurel, he would, all the more if Laurel wasn't making any effort to stay safe.

So it wasn't a surprise, really, when her computers went crazy that afternoon announcing her that Laurel wasn't at her place anymore. He had kidnapped Laurel. Well, more like blackmailing her into handing herself over. When she watched the cameras footage she saw that he'd contacted her and told her that if she handed herself over there would be no one else who would be hurt. She was surprised to see Laurel agreeing. She knew she was a strong woman but she never would've thought her capable of such courage. She really was giving up her life to save everyone, at least she thought she was. But, what Laurel didn't know was that just killing her wouldn't be enough for Slade. He wanted war and he wanted blood.

Soon after, Slade sent one of his men to Verdant to deliver a message to Oliver. They were all on edge, ready to react at any moment. Oliver had put Felicity behind his back, and she could see how tensed he was. Dig had his gun pointed at the men, Roy was aiming an arrow and Sara had pulled out a gun too. The rest of the Ligue of assassins had drawn out their weapons and the man was quickly surrounded. But he didn't seem bothered by the situation.

"What do you want?" Oliver asked him.

"My master wants you to come at this address in three hours," he handed a paper to Oliver. "He wants you to bring everything you've got. Every men and women who are willing to sacrifice themselves for you are welcome to join you. This is war. So be aware that none of will walk out of there alive. But my master doesn't want to crush every single hope you might have. He likes watching you struggle to pull your head out of the water, even if there isn't anything you can do to stop him. Anyway, he wants me to tell you that if you can defeat him, if you can kill him, your girlfriend would be safe. If not, which is the most likely outcome of tonight events, he's going to make you watch when he kills her ever so slowly, he will make you hear every single one of her screams and the very last breath she'll take before dying. Then, he will allow you to keep leaving the miserable life you deserve." He finished smirking at Oliver.

Before she could realize what she was doing, Felicity had crossed the distance separating her from the man, raised high her right hand and slapped him across the face with every amount of strength she had.

The sound resounded through the whole basement and everybody held his breath. Her hand stung from the blow but she was proud of herself when she saw the man reach for his bottom lip where a single drop of blood was trickling. She was breathing heavily and she could sense the tension threatening to explode around them.

"Get. The. Hell. Out. Of. My. Home." She growled, staring at him right in the eyes, her fist clenching and unclenching at her side. She wasn't scared at all. She was angry. Angry that there was nothing she could do to prevent what would happen tonight. Angry that she might lose people she cared about, angry that the world was so unfair.

The man laughed slightly, wiping the blood from his lip with the back of his hand and headed toward the door. When he reached the bottom of the staircase, he turned around to look at her again. Something had changed in his eyes, as if he wasn't so sure about himself anymore. She kept her eyes on him, flashing at him all the hate and protectiveness she could master. He finally shook his head and started climbing the stairs.

"See you tonight, _vigilantly_." He said and she heard the door close behind him. Even so, the tension didn't leave her. And she could sense that everybody was watching her. Or maybe they were watching behind her?

"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?!" Oliver yelled and she couldn't hold back the yelp that escaped her. _Jeez _he had startled her! She put her hands on her racing heart just when he grasped her arm to turn her around so she could face him.

In the corner of her eyes she saw that everybody was busying themselves and she even heard several hurried footsteps heading toward the stairs. But Oliver's face was incredulous, and worried and most of all angry but she knew it wasn't entirely against her.

"Hey! I wasn't gonna seat there and watch while you were being insulted like that!"

"He could've snapped your neck before any of us could've react." he growled.

"I don't care! I couldn't hold back myself, ok? I had to get that smirk out of his face!"

She felt a comforting hand on her shoulder. Dig, Sara and Roy were smiling at her, ignoring the dark gaze Oliver was giving them.  
"Thank you for that one. I think you did everyone a favor." Roy said. He was smiling and his hands were stuffed in his pocket but she could still see them shaking slightly.

"Yeah, I really saw myself smacking him in the head." Sara said.

"Don't listen to this guy," Dig said jerking his head in Oliver direction. "I was about to pull the trigger if you hadn't stepped in." He squeezed her shoulder.

Felicity smiled to her friends. She had never been so proud of slapping someone before. Not that she slapped people a lot but still, the stinging in her palm was more comforting than painful.

Oliver ran his hand over his face to calm down.

"Don't we have some preparing to do?"

Felicity wondered if anybody would find that weird that the parking lot of the Verdant was full of vehicles while the club was supposedly closed and empty since last month.

That was all she could do: keeping her mind busy with stupid stuff so she could avoid thinking about what were the stakes of tonight battle.

They were as ready as they could be. Everybody was gathered in the basement, stuffing themselves with weapons and gadgets. They were 45, herself included. Fifteen members of the Ligue of assassins, fifteen Russians, 4 members of the Sucide Squad coordinated by Amanda Waller from her quarters, 5 soldiers brought by Diggle and finally Malcolm Merlyn. Of course the original team Arrow was here too: Roy, Sara, Diggle and Oliver.

They had formed groups of four or five, each one with a leader and Felicity's roll was to coordinate everybody from down here. Well, she wasn't stupid. She knew they didn't need her to coordinate anything all the more when she neither spoke Russian nor Arab. They just wanted her to stay safe. But she wanted to go. She wanted to be there with them. To feel useful even if it was risky. She didn't want to be left behind. Oliver knew it. He had tried to make her promise she would stay safe, but quickly gave up when he knew she was too stubborn. He didn't have time for this. Yet she was forced to stay behind anyway, she just couldn't promise to do something that she hated to do.

When everybody was ready, the silence fell over the basement. Her heart was hammering so loud that she feared everybody could hear it. They all turned toward Oliver who straightened his shoulder and took a heavy breath.

"Ok let's go." He said. That's all everybody was waiting for and quickly the basement began to empty itself. After spending so much time in a crowded place, Felicity started to feel lonely. And abandoned.

Soon enough the only people left were Roy, Diggle, Sara, Oliver and herself. Felicity would be the only one staying back tonight. And she hated it. She wanted to scream out her frustration and her anxiety. This could be the very last time she saw them and just thinking about that was like someone was trying to crush her heart between his hands.

Sara was the first one to reach for Felicity.

"Stay strong." She said when she hugged her. Felicity couldn't answer. She knew that if she opened her mouth she would start crying. And crying was really the opposite of being strong, right? So, she just nodded, hugging her tighter, trying to make her understand everything she wanted to say.

"I know." Sara whispered and she pulled away turning around to hide her shimmering eyes from everybody. She went to stand by the stairs, waiting for the others and she wiped her eyes with irritated hands.

Next it was Diggle who took her in his big arms. And she didn't fight the tears that ran down her cheeks this time. It was pointless because she wouldn't be able to hold them back anyway.

"It's gonna be ok, Felicity. You're gonna be ok." He rubbed her little back with his big hands and it helped her lose some tension.

"You're the kindest man I ever encountered in my life, John. Be sure to come back to me… please?" Her voice was barely a whisper and she wasn't even sure he'd understand what she was saying.

"And you're the strongest woman I ever encountered in my life. So, whatever happens tonight, you will be fine. I promise." He pulled back to look into her eyes. She saw all the confidence he had in them. He trusted her to be alright. And he wanted to pass all his confidence to her. She nodded again, lost for words to express her gratitude toward her friend, her partner. Diggle kissed her forehead and turned away to join Sara next to the stairs.

Felicity turned toward Roy who seemed unsure of what to do. His hands were slightly shaking at his sides. He flashed a small smile at her but it was still hesitant and her heart exploded. Every mother instincts she might have wanted to protect this boy from what was waiting for him out there. But she knew he wouldn't let her. She knew he didn't want to be treated like a boy. It was time for him to prove to everybody that he had a right to be on this team.

Felicity rushed toward him and smashed in his arms. She hugged him so tightly that if he hadn't been injected with mirakuru she would've crushed his ribs. She felt him relax against her and he held her back gently.

"Thank you, Felicity. Thank you for standing up for me. Thank you for making me believe in myself again. And thank you for acting like the amazing older sister I've always wanted to have."

"Oh Roy…" She sobbed on his shoulder. "I trust you, Roy." She told him, knowing that he'd understand what she meant. "I trust you with all my heart."

"I know." Roy gently pulled away. "And I won't lose myself again. I won't let you down." He gently took her hands away from him and stepped back. His hands weren't shaking anymore she noticed and she smiled weakly at him. He winked and turned around to meet the others by the stairs.

The basement was silenced except for her sniffing. She had felt a part of her heart being ripped out of her chest each time she had let go of one of her friend. Her family. She was left hugging herself, trying to collect what was remaining of her heart. How could she be alright if one of them didn't come back? She knew they needed to see that she would manage alone here. She owed them at least that. So she forced herself to stop crying and slowed her breathing. She dried her eyes with her sleeve and let a shaky breath out.

Oliver cleared his throat.

"Go ahead. I'll catch up with you." His voice was croaked with emotions and when her eyes fell on him, she saw he had stayed slightly apart from them, his hand was on the desk as if to keep him standing. He was looking down at his feet so she couldn't see his face.

Then, she heard footsteps climbing the stairs and she hurried toward the sound. Was it already over? There was so much she hadn't told them, so many things they hadn't share yet. But she couldn't hold them back. It wouldn't be fair to them.

"See you guys later? Right?" She hadn't wanted it to sound like a question but she needed to hear their answer.

Instead, Sara, Diggle and Roy just look down at her with a sad smile and walked out of the basement.

When the door closed with a loud bang, she shut her eyes to prevent herself from crying again. That was it. There was nothing left she could do now, except praying and hoping and waiting for them to come back to her.

"I promise you, Felicity. I promise I will do everything I can to bring them back." Oliver was still avoiding looking at her. She wanted to see his face, to see his eyes. She wanted to know what he was thinking. So she walked toward him, still hugging herself with her arms.

"What about you Oliver? Who's going to save you?" She asked.

When she stood in front of him and he finally lift his gaze toward her, she saw only determination in his blue eyes.

"Laurel has nothing to do with what's happening. I need to fix this. Whatever the costs." She understood that he was telling her that he couldn't be saved and she couldn't bear it.

"Oliver, I can't… I need to… At least… at least let me come with you. Don't leave me alone."

"You'll never be alone, Felicity. And I need to know that you're safe."

"But… I can't let you go out there. I'm coming with you."

She knew she was being stubborn and selfish but she couldn't help it. He couldn't keep her looked up down here. She could make her own decision. And she chose to stand up next to him through everything.

"No you won't." He said gently cupping her cheek.

When had he come so close? Or was it her? They were inches apart from one another and she could smell his leather outfit. He had captured her eyes with his and she wouldn't be able to look anywhere else even if she wanted to. Would that be the last time she felt his skin against her cheek? Would that be the last time she looked into those beautiful eyes of his?

And suddenly his lips where on hers and he was kissing her. She was so surprised that she almost pulled away from him. But when the shock passed, she was kissing him back. And it was the most heartbreaking kiss ever. She understood he was trying to show her everything he couldn't afford to say out loud and he didn't have time to say. He was sorry for dragging her into this but at the same time he couldn't be more glad he had done it. Yet, he thought she deserved so much more than what he had been able to give her. She could feel all his pain and his guilt and his apprehension in the way he kissed her. It was desperate. As if it was now or never. At one point Felicity tasted tears on their lips and she couldn't tell if they were hers or his. Her mind was blown away and her thoughts didn't have any sense anymore. She couldn't have enough of him. She never wanted to let him go.

But eventually the moment had to end and they pulled apart to catch their breath. She didn't open her eyes. She knew what she would see on his and she wasn't ready to face it yet.

"I had to know." He began, his voice barely recognizable from the rush of emotions they had just shared. And she was already shaking her head, her eyes still closed, because she knew exactly what he was doing. "I had to know how it felt to be with you."

"Don't you dare." Felicity fisted her tiny hands in the front of his leather jacket, holding him closer to her and shaking him a little as she spoke.

"Don't you _dare_ say goodbye to me." She said fiercely, finally opening her eyes although she just stared at her fists on his chest.

"Felicity, you are an amazing woman."

"Stop." She whispered. But he didn't listen, instead he tilted her chin up so she was looking directly into his eyes and went on.

"You can't imagine how happy I am that I had the chance to meet you. To share my world with you. To be able to rely on you."

"_Please_ stop." She begged, because if he said goodbye now, it meant he didn't have any hope of making it back. And she couldn't accept that. He had to come back to her.

"I which I…"

He sighed and she would never found out what he had been about to tell her. This mere thought made her feel like someone had planted a knife inside her heart and she barely managed to suppress her sob.

"Whatever happens tonight, don't you ever change. Because you're just perfect."

He let go of her face to grab her hands and gently, unclenched her fingers from his jacket. He took a step back and that was when her brain snapped because he was leaving. He was really leaving. _No, no, no, no, no, no…_ Was all she could think, her tears falling freely from her eyes.

He took another step backward, this time letting go of her hands. And another one. She wanted to reach for him again, not ready to let him go, but when she tried to step forward something on her right wrist pulled her back. Even more confused if possible, she looked down to see she had a handcuff around her wrist. She tried to raise her hand again but she was stopped half the way up. Her handcuff was attached to a metal chain. She followed it with her eyes to see where it started. It was clasped on the desk just next to where she was standing a minute ago.

"Wh…?"

Her confused brained took some time to process what she was seeing and when she finally came up with what had happened her jaw fell opened with shock.

"Did you just…?" She asked him, looking back at him. He had already reached the staircase, his foot on the first march.

"I hope you'll forgive me." He put his green hood over his head and climbed the stairs.

"Oliver! Oliver, come back!"

**_BANG!_**

The door closed loudly behind him and she was left staring at an empty staircase.

"You promised I wasn't going to lose you…" She whispered before collapsing on the floor. Her legs couldn't hold her anymore. She hugged her chest to try to ease the pain in her heart. And she cried. She cried like she had never cried before in her life.

* * *

**A/N: hi again :) I know some of you want to know what happens next. Don't be mad at me, but I really like how it ends and I am truly sorry but I don't think there would be a sequel, or at least not in the following weeks (stupid exams...).**

**And even if I had time to write it, you would really hate me if I did, if you know what I mean… But you can always try to make me change my mind… by leaving reviews ! :D **

**Thank youuuuu !**


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